Life does not always go as planned. Shocking, I know. What a surprising revelation! But seriously, over the past 18 months or so, I would say I've learned well the old cliche to "expect the unexpected." To recap just a few of the twists and turns we've encountered:
- Sudden, wrongful job loss - unexpected... and frightening.
- Economic downturn - well, ditto, as we all know.
- Baby #3 on the way - not quite unexpected, but surprising and wonderful!
- Baby #4 joins the party - yeah, definitely unexpected and wild and amazing and a little petrifying all at once.
- Twin growth discordance - unexpected, and bewildering.
- Employment still teetering in the balance, yet somehow we're still in our house - unexpected, but thank You, Lord!
- "High risk pregnancy" - unexpected and somewhat surreal.
- Cars tanking or on the fritz - unexpected, but that's automobiles for ya!
- Baby B faces two-vessel cord, blood-flow issues, impaired growth, and abdominal problems requiring surgery after birth - unexp. and scary.
- Pregnancy complicated by gallstones and hernia - unexpected and painful.
- Partial bedrest at 26 weeks - well, you get the idea.
And that's just part of my list. I know we all have 'em. If you're like me, you have a picture in mind of how things are expected to turn out. And rarely does the reality match that picture. It can be disheartening, dizzying, and even defeating at times. Or for me, it has sometimes resulted in a sort of detached numbness, as if I can remove myself from the situation and not have to feel all the rollercoaster of emotions from failed expectations. The fact is, expectations are deceptive things.
But lately, especially, I've been praying for God to move me beyond expectation... into hope. Not just hope as in, "I really hope we get better news next time," or "I hope a better job arrives soon," or "I hope I can somehow find a FEW hours of sleep tonight." But rather, HOPE as in, "My HOPE is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness," and "We have this HOPE as an anchor for our soul." Hope not only as a foundation, but as the pillars that support and the roof that protects and the warm embrace that comforts when the, "I sure hope's" become the "Oh no, not again's."
I'm not there yet. I may never be. But He is patiently teaching me through it all. And my HOPE for you is that He may use whatever "un"expectations you are facing right now to build your HOPE in His everlasting care as well. I hope that somehow all made sense. And I hope you have a blessed, though unexpected, day.
Liz,
ReplyDeleteIt is so neat you are starting this blog! I hear you on the failed expectations point. I am constantly being disappointed at the expectations I have for things. You are indeed right to focus on the Lord as he is the only stable "expectation" we can have. In the Bible, the word "hope" is not something wished for like "I hope I get....." but rather it is a sure thing, and absolute as in, "I HOPE in Christ" knowing that doing so will result in seeing him someday! :) I just read "The Spiritual Secrets of Hudson Taylor" and it was very moving for me. He was SO focused on prayer in his life and resting in Christ in all things. Through all the many trials of mission work in China, he would immediately seek rest in Christ and set out to pray for God's will in all things big and small. Perhaps this time of bed rest will give you that time to dedicate to prayer for your family and all around you. I will pray it will be a sweet time of fellowship with your Lord.
Blessings to you dear!
Heather
What a great testimony you have. Thank you for sharing. Our God is great, even when our circumstances are not so great. We must always keep our eyes focused on Him. I am so happy to see Him working in your life. God bless you.
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